Heartache, confusion, anger. Divorce can strike up a whole host of emotions. Listed as one of the most stressful life events, divorce can really wreak havoc on your emotional wellbeing. Besides that, though, there is also the cost of divorce, the way it might affect your children and all the changes that go along with an annulment. If you are worried about what to expect, then you have come to the right place.
Here are 7 things every woman getting divorced should know.
1. Be prepared to feel emotional
Even if you are happy about your divorce, you will still feel a whole range of emotions. You might feel sad one minute and then angry the next. Divorce is an emotional roller coaster. It’s ok to feel the way you do. When you got married, the last thing you expected was to be here, getting divorced. You need to allow yourself time to grieve. You need to grieve the love you once had, the life you wanted, and the future you hoped for. Ending your marriage is really hard and heartbreaking. You need to allow yourself to feel your pain. By doing so, you will be able to heal and move on, eventually.
If you are struggling emotionally and having a very difficult time, then seeing a psychologist will be a good idea. They will help draw you out, to talk about your feelings. This can help you move forward and heal from painful feelings.
2. Divorce doesn’t have to be expensive
Most people feel that they need to go the traditional route when it comes to getting a divorce. Hiring a lawyer, going to court and so on. The good news is that you don’t have to do this. If you and your spouse agree to have an uncontested divorce, then you can use an online service. This is much cheaper and easier than the traditional divorce route. The cost of a traditional divorce, on average, is $15,000 per person, whereas an online divorce can cost you a maximum of $500 in total. Some divorce companies start their packages at $139. So if you and your spouse have an uncomplicated divorce, then rather opt to use an online divorce company. There are many great companies out there. They offer you great customer service; so if you have any questions, they will be able to help you. You can also get your divorce papers within 24 hours.
3. Your children will suffer too
Even if your marriage has ended for the right reasons, remember that your children will also have a hard time. For them, seeing their parents arguing is emotionally stressful. Moving houses, schools, and leaving friends behind is not easy. They will need to get used to the fact that their dad won’t be there every day. They might need to visit their father every other weekend and this can be hard. They could feel depressed, angry and confused. Oftentimes children whose parents are going through a divorce, begin to struggle at school. They might not be able to concentrate, or they might feel embarrassed about what is going on at home. If you notice that your child is struggling during your divorce, it would be a good idea to take them to a psychologist or counselor. They will be able to express their feelings in a safe environment, and a psychologist will help them to manage their emotions in a healthy way.
4. Create a budget.
When going through a divorce, you will need to have a look at your finances. You might need to begin working if you weren’t already working. Have a look at your income and expenses. Creating a budget will help you plan for your future and see where your money needs to go. This will take the stress out of monthly finances.
5. You might need to say goodbye to your ex’s family.
Sometimes during a divorce, you divorce your in-laws too. This can be a sad realization. If a lot of hurt was involved, inlaws might begin to distance themselves from you. Or if they took your ex’s side, then you might want to distance yourself from them. Suss out the situation. If you have children, keeping in contact with your inlaws would be a good idea. Kids need their grandparents, especially if they have a good relationship with them. If your inlaws are toxic, then cutting ties might be the right thing to do. Allow your inlaws time to grieve too. Maybe after some time relationships will heal and mend. If you loved your inlaws, it might be hard for you if they start to distance themselves, but in time things could work out. If you would like to keep in contact with your inlaws a phone call or text could help you to do so. You might want to arrange a weekend outing with your inlaws so that your kids can see their grandparents.
6. Be realistic.
When it comes to getting a divorce, you might want your ex to pay for the hurt that they caused. You might want to get the house, the car, the kids, and the business. Realistically, this might not happen. Lawyers, judges, and mediators find ways to make your divorce work for each partner. Also, fighting in court could be extremely expensive and emotionally exhausting. Be realistic with what you can get out of your divorce. Only go to trial if you really need to do so. Don’t do it to get back at your ex.
7. You will feel better in time.
It might not seem like it now, but you will feel better eventually. It takes time to heal, and get through the storm that a divorce creates. But eventually, with time, you will look back and feel proud of yourself for getting through it. Divorce is like turning a page on an old chapter and starting a new one. A new life and a new you is out there waiting. It might take time, but you will get there.