While it’s definitely true that sugar dating doesn’t come attached to as many of the same problems traditional dating might, it’s not a guarantee that you’ll never find yourself in a bad relationship again. Sugar daddies may be more affluent, driven, and refined than most men you’ll meet on Tinder or at the local bar. But they’re not perfect.
Someone wealthy, successful, and charming can still have issues with anger, jealousy, substance abuse, and many other things. And they can be dangerous, to boot, so it’s essential to know how to recognize a toxic sugar connection so you can get out ASAP. Here are some telltale signs to know.
He treats other people badly
A sugar daddy who’s nice to you but awful to the waiters at the restaurants you to or the people who work for him is not a nice guy. Such people are only nice to people who can do something for them or from whom they’re trying to get something. The minute that is no longer the case, they show their true colors.
So don’t be fooled into thinking you’re the special case he somehow feels differently about. There are likely a lot of sugar babies in his past who can tell you that’s not the case, so don’t wait around to become one of them.
He lays hands on you (or anyone else)
We’re not living in the dark ages anymore. Consent is not only super important, but no one in the dating pool today can claim not to know that anymore. So it should go without saying that you should steer completely clear of anyone who ever puts their hands on you in a way you don’t like or agree to.
This doesn’t just go for obvious examples, as with being hit. It also applies to unwanted sexual contact, continued attempts to touch you in ways you’ve expressly told the person you don’t like, and really anything that makes you uncomfortable in any way.
He’s not interested in you as a person
Not every sign that you’ve made a lousy sugar match is as glaring as someone hitting you or verbally abusing your waiter on your date. Some are a little more subtle, but it’s just as important to make sure you pay attention to them. A lack of genuine interest in who you are as a person is a great example.
A sugar daddy worth being with likes you for more than just your looks and potential value as a piece of arm candy. He also digs your soul, your sense of humor, and all the little things about you that make you who you are. Don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t care about those things.
He tries to control you
Just as a courteous, kind person isn’t good to some people and awful to others, a good person doesn’t ever try to control other people or sabotage their autonomy. But someone’s attempts to control their partner can be pretty subtle at first, so you need to know the early signs you’re dealing with someone like that.
Does your sugar daddy try to tell you how to dress in a way that doesn’t sit right or make suggestions about where you should work that seem a little too overbearing? Does he badmouth your friends and try to discourage you from hanging out with loved ones? Don’t ignore it. Those are signs that you’re with a controlling person who could turn abusive, as behavior like that tends to escalate over time.
You catch yourself making excuses for him
Any sugar baby who’s been in a toxic relationship before knows the drill here. Their partners act out in ways that make them hesitant to take them anywhere or have them around their friends and family. They’re constantly apologizing for the person, making excuses for their behavior, or insisting that other people don’t know their partner the way they do.
Anytime you have to make excuses for someone, it should be a red flag that they’re not good for you. A grown man – especially a sugar daddy who’s supposed to be several cuts above average – should be above making a scene or behaving in ways that make both him and his partner look bad.
You just have a bad feeling
Last but definitely not least, you should always trust your gut about any sugar daddy you decide to connect with. When was the last time you had a terrible feeling about someone and were actually wrong? Probably never, so you should know better than to ignore a really bad vibe by now.
You don’t need a so-called “good” reason not to keep dating someone who gives you a bad feeling. You definitely shouldn’t wait for them to prove you right. Not feeling right about something is the only reason you need to sever a sugar connection that feels off, so don’t be afraid to do so without apology.